It’s a bit on the melancholy side here… I’m not depressed I promise! Everything is fine! It’s just that my brain’s poetry dept. is full of maudlin sorts – I will try and think of a cheerful powm* before the year is out.

*Poem I mean. I kept the typo because I like the idea of a POWm and think that deserves to be its own thing.

17/02/2016 – The Grey Hell

The grey hell of a dying fire
That once burned brightly
Then a reassuring glow
Now a smoking ruin
Desperately holding on to the remaining warmth
We poke at the embers
Throwing up a spark or two
I neglected the fire, you said
It burned but did not warm me, and I wandered away
Lost and looking for joy
Chasing a firefly in the forest
That I caught and set loose
Never intending to keep
But just enjoy for a moment
To turn my mind from the chill
To warm my achy heart.
You watched the fire fade and falter
And another, brightly blazing from afar, drew you near
You went to bring light back to your soul
I had looked away and let it grow cold
But the sparks, the embers,
They don’t die easy.
We travel back and pile on sticks
A lick of flame shows promise
I think I can feel my limbs again
And put my hand in yours

 

27/04/2014 – In Lieu of Prayer

To dear Abuelo y Abuela
Who filled their lives with friends and laughter
To my Grandma whom I never knew
And to Rita who filled in for you,
To Dennis, my favourite curmudgeon
And Tío Manolo, not long gone
…It’s odd, and I feel silly asking…
I haven’t just now found religion
I don’t believe in God and Heaven
Can’t say for certain just where you are
Except now the dust of earth and stars
I suspect that’s really all there is
And that’s okay.

But just in case…
I have something to ask of you.
Please come and fetch my father soon.

What an awful thing it is
To miss someone while they still live
If you can call such lingering
Without hope of healing ‘living’,
Which I don’t.

I cannot hope, I will not pray
I only have bad poetry.

Rest in peace, dad – 02/05/2014
09/12/2013 – I Saw a Man Upon The Sea (Poem for M)

I saw a man upon the sea
A little way away from me
Drifting, steered by nature’s whim
Caught between the out and in.
Neither dock nor ocean be
Destined for the likes of thee
It seems, poor man upon the sea!

‘Hie’, called I, ‘why do you stay,
And not pull in nor sail away?
It seems to me a sorry plan
To not go forth nor come to land’
‘Alas’ said he, and pointed back;
‘That way leads to all that’s black
From thence there is no coming back’

‘Then come to shore where all is light,
Why tarry here in endless night?’
But the man would not comply;
‘This land is not for such as I.
I have a darkness here in me
That would taint all that you see…
And darken you as well, maybe.’

‘Then what are we to do, good sir,
If you won’t come upon the shore?’
He thought, and then held out his hand;
‘You’ll come with me, and leave this land.’
I cried, ‘that will not work a jot!
I cannot go where light does not,
For I would wither, ail and rot.’

‘Then we are at an impasse, so
Will you wait here, or will you go?’
He said, most mournful, face askance;
This man I met one night by chance.
‘I do believe I’ll stay right here
P’raps not beside you, but just near
Enough.’ I said. ‘Agreed my dear?’

‘What kind of life is that,’ said he
‘With you on land and I on sea?’
‘Such is love,’ said I, ‘it’s fine
If I am yours and you are mine.’
Fear turned to hope upon his face
‘Then can it truly be the case
We each are in our rightful place?’

‘I think we are! Here; take this rope,
A link between us we’ll call Hope.’
The sight of it held him enthralled,
as if it were of fine spun gold.
He took it and the wind grew mild,
The sky more clear, the waves less wild;
The elements now reconciled.

‘This rope will keep me safe within
Sight of land, and hope therein’
He said, and so my gift was meant;
A bond not lightly torn nor rent.
‘We may not ever truly be
As one, but if you’ll stay with me
I’ll have a link to shore in thee.’

‘Indeed’ I cried, ‘I’ll be a light
Amid the dark, a star at night
You may not ever reach the land,
But still have hope one day you can.
While you see me upon the shore
I’ll keep you from what you abhor
The void beyond, that swallows all.’

And so we live, he there, I here
At some times far and sometimes near
Apart, and yet we hope to stay
Within each other’s sights always
Although the waves may rise and fall
The rope holds true throughout it all
And here we wait until the dawn.